Disillusionment

Lately I've felt a slowly creeping ache in my gut that I haven't been able to push away... and I guess it's getting to the point where I need to address the issue, say it out loud instead of burying myself under my covers and sleeping it off, which is so much easier. To quote one of my favorite films:

"It's funny how things happen at particular times[...] we've been going through this thing, real quiet, so when we ran into you yesterday this thing that we've been going through, real quiet, she's talking about it. You know what I mean?" - Into the Wild

All it takes is one small thing to throw everything into sharp relief and that small thing was re-reading a letter my dad had written to me, several birthdays back. Then the thoughts came rushing.


So, I'm alittle lost because I think I've fallen out of love with the things that I used to find so important to me. I think I'm having a quarter-life crisis; as in who am I and what am I doing with my life? That kind of stuff. Most of it boils down to the fact that I think I've become disillusioned when it comes to art, something I care[d] so much about and some other stuff that I'm still wrestling with. This blog is where I celebrated my passion for the arts and I hadn't posted in so long because it's been such a struggle to find anything to engage in. 


As melodramatic or insignificant as this may seem to some it's a big deal for me. Take away all my creative, artsy stuff and there's not alot left and I guess that's been freaking the hell out of me. I'm worried I don't care enough about things and it's funny 'cause for a while I had self diagnosed myself as ataraxic," a condition characterized by the freedom of worry or any other preoccupation really", for those who've seen Lucky Number Slevin that was for you. However, worrying about not worrying is still worrying, so I can't be ataraxic even though it sounds cool. Maybe the feeling of not caring enough is really caring about things too much? I am not a big fan of self pity and this is not it. I'm not sure what I'm going to call this, dilemma sounds appropriate. 


And who knows, maybe, perhaps this is all just end-of-the-semester-itis?... Anyway, discussion ends here, but being disillusioned is actually what I wanted to explore today... well, actually subtract the 'dis' and we're set to go.


Elizabeth Bowen said "Illusions are art, for the feeling person, and it is by art that we live, if we do."


Things that make you look twice. GO!

Three dimensional street artist Kurt Wenner's work is arresting, in every sense of the word - he's had run ins with the law before. I'm not as sure about North America, but in Europe it is not uncommon to see street artists, those guys who sketch caricatures for twenty euros or make amazing acrylic paintings of panoramic city views; and street art, chalk drawings on the ground that are often religious in nature... but have you ever in your life seen something so complex on the sidewalk? Wenner is highly acclaimed for his innovative pavement pictures in which he combines a love for classical imagery with a form of geometry that he invented to create these illusionistic images. National Geographic made a documentary about him called Masterpieces in Chalk that you really should watch...

Here's part 1 of 3. He's a genius.

Tell me this is just another still life or a boring photograph. You're wrong, oh so wrong. This is the work of photorealist Roberto Bernardi... oh and it's a painting. Modern art is equated with weird drippings, geometric shapes, nude women and all manner of identifiable subject matter. But then you have these guys whose goal is to create paintings that mimic the qualities of a photograph. We're unused to this type of realism and naturalism in modern art, but Bernardi is part of a movement that began in the 60s and 70s and is still very much alive today. Tell me art and skill is dead, I dare you.

What, who, is that a man you say? Why yes, yes it is. His name is Liu Bolin, but he also goes by the Invisible Man as well. Bolin's work is characterized by him being painted to blend in to his surroundings, thus creating this illusion of invisibility. Watch the video below and you'll understand the pure devotion to his culture and craft... especially after a four hour painting session in which you aren't allowed to move.

Finally, this may be the most familiar image to most - René Magritte is a well known Surrealist and here we have Carte Blanche. I can't really say much except that I've loved Magritte since I lived in Belgium when I was eight years old. This image, while not as striking initially like the others is still equally complex and illusionistic. Seeing is believing... but can you believe this?

- Life is good

[Kurt Wenner, Roberto Bernardi, Liu Bolin,Rene Magritte]

Listening to: 'August's Rhapsody' - Mark Mancina 
Observations: Kingston's first snow... yay?
Craving: The spasms in my arms to please subside

Why I write ... ask Orwell

I had an assignment due this past week that loosely asked why do you study or write Art History? It was such a challenge, but I finished it with somewhat of a conclusion and I thought I'd share it here. I know I'll never be able to convince everyone, but I want to try... anyway, enjoy:

The intrepid art historian takes on the Orwellian task of ‘Why I write’

I’m hoping that one day in the near future I’ll be able to introduce myself to someone new and dodge the flinching, embarrassing reflex I feel when the topic comes up that I am art history major. Why does it happen? I’m so passionate about art and the discipline I’ve chosen it makes no sense that I should be ashamed to be engaged in said - often neglected - corner of academia. I try to casually brush off any questions with an attempt at nonchalant grace, ‘It’s different. I enjoy it. Something new…etc’, but I see their eyebrows raise, the awkward bobbing of their heads and their sad, twisted smiles that seem to say ‘Oh, you’ll be ok, somewhere out there is a niche for you’. In this world of politics, economic recessions, poverty, natural disasters, and so on, what significance does art history have? Need I validate my choice to pursue a course of study that is desperately in need of attention and, in truth, a fashionable make-over? My approach to writing art history is strongly intertwined with my emotional attachment to the arts and the reason why I’m in this field of study.

In order to discover my approach to writing art history, one needs to know why I love the visual arts. It may be because my mom flooded my childhood with Disney coloring books and easel paints in colors that would have made Joseph, he of the Technicolor Dream Coat, emerald green with envy. Or because my right brain is functioning at ten times the speed of my left, ergo causing an excess of creative thoughts. To be honest, it doesn’t matter how it happened, I love art because it is a liberating expression of emotion, it is reflective of the surrounding culture and times in addition to being a world of adventure and play. Art is this world of magic that confuses and scares people, especially modern and contemporary art and that is partially why there is a stigma attached with it. My ultimate goal as a student of this discipline is to expose the wonderful adventure that I see in it and bring it to the greater public and that directly influences my writing style.

It is difficult studying art history when there are such clichéd stereotypes of art historians, all of which I want to shatter: there is that of the pretentious modern scholar who uses a style and diction that leaves their reader feeling inferior and disengaged with the topic; the second, that disconnected old, stuffy, tweed-wearing professor who smokes a pipe and rambles on about the glory of the Renaissance while sitting in some hallowed hall, often repeating himself and never arriving at a conclusion; and finally the ultra-feminist trying to re-write history and bombarding you with psychological theories about women that make your head spin. I am often assigned readings that feed these stereotypes so well that it is no wonder that many choose to ignore this subject because it is so pretentious, dry and exhausting.

I want to inject a youthful, engaging tone into my art history writings that ultimately draw the reader in and makes them want to learn more about what I’m describing. I want to invite people into my world, where I see art as a challenge and a game – like the wardrobe leading into Narnia. I will acknowledge right now that in trying to use an active and engaging voice I often need to back peddle to make sure I’m getting my point across. However, my writing style is still in its infancy, it is being pruned by my professors, by the readings I encounter and the art that I study.

My upmost goal is to try to engage my audience - enlighten them. A good writer should hold my hand through their thoughts and ideas, pick me up and dust me off when I stumble upon some concept and guide me on the shining path to greater understanding. Two readings I’ve undertaken lately can be brought to the forefront of this. David Foster Wallace’s ‘E Unibus Pluram: Television and US Fiction’, while not an art historical text was an exceptionally interesting read because it was contemporary, made observations I could identify with and did not overpower me with pompous language and tone. I attempt to write clearly and without too many sharp twists and turns, like Foster Wallace and hope that while my choice of diction is casual, it takes on an academic voice. Where Foster Wallace’s writing was a pleasurable experience, I felt as though I was locked in a fierce battle with Stephen Bann when reading his ‘Views on the Past: Reflections on the Treatment of Historical Objects and Museums of History’. He fed right into the disconnected professor stereotype of art historian that I dread reading. I had no emotional engagement with his excerpt at all, something I hope that all writers think about. I got lost in his brilliance, he is clearly an educated fellow, yet I did not grasp the points he was making and felt as though I was going in circles. When I read I want to be left with an idea of who the person is, I want to get to know them through their text and that was something Bann forgot with this paper.


When I write, I want people to come away afterward with a clear idea of why I write and a greater appreciation for art history – I write it because I love it and I want to share it. I'm working on profound. Hoping it will come one day because I want to inform, educate, challenge and inspire others. Until then, I will work on my style and tone in the hopes that I begin to craft the hallmarks of a new era of art historical writing.

- Life is good


Listening to: 'Otherside' - Red Hot Chili Peppers
Observations: Summer doesn't want to let go
Craving: Something profound

Daily Dose

I used to feel empowered and that I could take on the world by myself. I loved to be challenged and take on anything without thinking about it. It's who I am, I rush into things without thinking with mottoes like 'go big or go home' and 'all or nothing'. But I hadn't really felt like that in a while, so in true 'Sammy' fashion my Dad sent me a whole bunch of motivational material that did the trick. Exams make me feel like shit and everyone needs a little dose of motivation/ a pick me up and today, I'm here to give it:

I was basically breastfed on this stuff, Dr. Seuss was my childhood.

God, give us grace to accept with serenity

the things that cannot be changed,

Courage to change the things

which should be changed,

and the Wisdom to distinguish

the one from the other.

Living one day at a time,

Enjoying one moment at a time,

Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace,

Taking, as Jesus did,

This sinful world as it is,

Not as I would have it,

Trusting that You will make all things right,

If I surrender to Your will,

So that I may be reasonably happy in this life,

And supremely happy with You forever in the next

Amen.
- The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Neibuhr

The housemates and I watched this on repeat for a good week, I know it's mean to laugh but it's so funny. Plus it reminds me of my little sister. Second child syndrome, totally.  

Too bad it's not Green Eggs and Ham, but I really want to turn up to an exam wearing this...

In reality I only have 1 sibling, my awesome baby sister, aka Ron Jeremy, but I actually have 4 brothers too. Looooong story, anyway, I'm at my second home this week and it brought back memories. I laugh my ass off every time I see this.

I agree

But then I find this hilarious too. Watch Megamind, it's clutch (my new word)

Thank you dad

My family is actually on their way to BOTSWANA today, remember last year when they went to Ethiopia, yeah they left me behind again haha. But, in all seriousness I'm excited for them and all the photos I'm going to get to live through. My mom feels pretty guilty talking about it and that I'm not going to be there with them, but I'm content to watch my dorky father on his bike in the desert and laugh. If you knew my dad, this pretty much sums him up... nerdster on his desert bike, so proud to have stayed on.

Anyway, all manners of Art History are calling my name. GOOD LUCK all you exammers out there and chin up. My dad says has this staple phrase that I've adopted...


- Life is good


And I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it. BOOM!


Listening to: 'Everything in it's right place' - Radiohead
Observations: Have fun fam jam!!!
Craving: 249

Life Guru

Hello sun! It's been a while and you look very well if I do say so myself. Me on the other hand, I could use your golden rays ALOT, I hate being pale. 


Today, needing a slight pick me up my Sammy introduced me to this amazing guy on the internet who works daily miracles on a website called 1000 Awesome Things. The Toronto Star calls him 'a guru of small joys' and I couldn't put it any more perfectly. Basically Neil Pasricha started counting down awesome things from 1,000 in June 2008 and here we are... almost April 2011 with under 280 to go. Now, you're probably wondering what constitutes an awesome thing? Well they're anything from #973 Sleeping in new bed sheets to #451 Somehow waking up at the right time even though you forgot to set your alarm clock #311 Finding out what song is in that commercial. Some are so simple like #330 Clean baby smell and some are so meaningful like #566 Unforgettable friends, however they're all exceptionally true. You forget that these small things are actually so relevant and it's the greatest feeling reading them and going 'I TOTALLY get that'.


Well the the awesome thing for March 25th was #280 When little kids get really, really excited. SO TRUE! I love when they get so excited they start to not make sense and ramble on and you nod and act super interested even though you don't need to act cause you totally are engaged in this little person's thoughts. Pasricha talks about how his girlfriend is a primary school teacher and how one day she asked what her students wanted to be when they got older. Well one little girl got super excited, and started waving her arms around and when the girlfriend, Leslie, called on her she proudly announced 'I want to be a farm!' This absolutely slayed me and almost instantly cheered me up. Without even knowing it, this little girl has given me a new mantra... 'I want to be a farm, I want to be a farm.' Don't ask me what it's supposed to mean, I just think it's awesome. And though completely irrelevant to my usual ramblings I wanted to share it with you. 


- Life is better now

Listening to: 'New new new' - Bob Sinclar (Avicii remix)
Observations: Starbucks, actually a great place to get work done
Craving: My Raphael midterm back please!!!